Binding Demons
by Shiloh Taemi
Summary: Three words: Tears, Pain, Pleasure. That was the code they used to let the other know what was needed, how badly their inner demons were plaguing them. They went to each other when they needed to find their humanity again, when the numbness of their professions got to be too much, when they had to be reminded how to feel. Warning: Bdsm flavored lemon, rated M


This is rated M for a reason, 18+ It deals with bdsm themes and the deep connection between partners when they participate in this kink. Obvious lemon. You've been warned. This was written for the second prompt of the Tumblr kakasaku week entitled Demons. _I do not own Naruto I just like fangirling in their world. _

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Sakura stood at his door, no knock, she stood there in turmoil not knowing what to do. She was overwhelmed, the pressure was breaking her and there was a cacophony in her head. Expectations, duty and responsibility dogged at her. She had failed, the voices in her head clamored to tell her how badly she failed, that she would never measure up, she was twelve again and useless, only now she had titles like Sanin and head medic, and sensei attached to her, she wasn't allowed to be useless, she wasn't allowed to fail and she couldn't breathe. She stood in the door way for ten minutes before it opened to her.

"Hello Sakura." His familiar deep voice wrapped around her like a blanket, her body shuddered.

Kakashi couldn't remember when they had started, how the conversation went, something about relieving stress and pressure but not nearly so simple. It was deeper than that, demon slaying or at least keeping them at bay, quieting the voices in their heads that told them they should give up. She came to him, and he would go to her with a mutual understanding that they would put themselves in the others care, and they would do what was necessary to help the other find peace. If anyone were to look at the things they did to each other they would be called sick, twisted, masochistic, sadistic. Perhaps they were but it sent the demons that plagued them running and they were able to continue functioning. It was give and take, it was mutual, it was consensual, and it was their most guarded secret. To some it would look like kinky sex, others would call it unhealthy bordering on abuse, it wasn't, it was trust, it was connection, cathartic and therapeutic, it was love even if they never used that word. Three words indicated the level of their need, tears, pain and pleasure, sometimes the person asking would only ask for one, or two, when things were bad they asked for all three. Kakashi looked down at her, her eyes hollow and ringed with dark circles, this was the same woman who had left welts on his back only two weeks prior. She could make him cry like a child, make him acknowledge all his fucked up feelings and then hold him and sooth him until he felt human again. She could make him see stars of pure erotic pleasure, edging him until he begged for release. She fulfilled the darkest part of him, and Kakashi did the same for her. They were so alike it was scary. Their need for each other was unspoken, outside of their respective apartments they didn't acknowledge it. They took care of each other in ways no other could.

He moved aside silently inviting her in. Tonight he was needed to quiet her voices, and convince her she was human and fallible, she needed to be exposed, made raw because her demons resided in the core of her soul. They were palpable, and doing more damage to her internally then any kunai could.

"What do you need from me tonight, Sakura?" He asked gently.

It was one of their rules she had to ask, she had to tell, she had to be honest. Their arrangement was built on perfect trust.

"Tears." She spoke softly, "Pain, pleasure."

"That bad?" He used a quiet voice. "Want to talk about it first?"

"No, after, we can talk after. I need this Kakashi, now, please." Her voice wavered, but no matter how hard she tried she couldn't make the tears come on her own. No matter how much it hurt, how sad she was, they wouldn't come. They needed to be coaxed out.

"Alright. Go take off your clothes; I'll get what I need." He led her to his bedroom

She took off her clothes quickly, folding them neatly on the dresser and waited, her skin was already full of goose bumps, rosy pink nipples hardened. When Kakashi returned he had removed his own shirt and mask, there were no secrets here, another rule. He had a long coil of soft oiled rope, and a thin bamboo switch. He laid those on the bed, then pulled out lotion, a bottle of lube, and a short but intricately designed plug. She knew what each item was for and her lips parted already breathing heavily. He held the ropes in his hands and approached her from behind, Shibari first, the art of rope binding.

"Who are you?" He asked against her ear, gently pulling her arms behind her back.

"Myself." She whispered, closing her eyes when she felt the rope start to wind over her arms. His hands were large but dexterous, weaving and winding the ropes around her upper body, framing her and binding her.

"Are you a Sanin here?" He asked, tying easy to unravel knots that were surprisingly strong.

"No."

"Are you medic-nin here?" He worked faster, her eyes were rolling, and she was leaning on his shoulder. Already she was losing herself, falling inwards where it was safe, the Shibari acted as a cocoon.

"No."

"Are you Shinobi here?" Once her upper body was done he got to work on her lower body. He positioned a knot against her core, so that every squirm and movement caused friction. He felt her shiver under his hands.

"No."

"What are you?" When binding Kakashi was always careful to only touch where necessary, she had asked for tears and pain, pleasure was the release, the last step, no matter how much he wanted to run his hands over her breasts, over the damp clit that was now being tortured by his rope work, he restrained. Neither of them were in this for simple sex, it was a reward, it was the culmination of their trust, it was the last step of the exorcism.

"Human, imperfect, broken." She breathed out.

"Why did you come here?" Kakashi let her lean on him, he kept his lips close to her ears, his voice clear. She could fall, be cocooned, but she had to remain present, his arms weren't an escape from her troubles, he only helped her face them.

"To be cleansed." Her voice was ragged.

"Come." He sat on his bed, waiting for her.

She went to him, bending over his lap, his hands helped her position herself, the knot rubbed over her core and she whimpered when he tugged on the rope. She felt his leg muscles under his pants, one hand swept over her back threading into her hair until he gripped a fistful, he pulled her head up, his other hand positioned over her ivory pale ass.

"Count." He commanded. He slapped her hard, and she cried out a one. Before her skin could redden he spanked her again, he kept up the quick pace, she could barely breath through the counting, through the sharp cries he pulled out of her, through the angle he held her head up. When they reached fifteen he was breathing hard, his erection bulging against her stomach. A promise for later, If Kakashi was good at anything it was control. Sakura had broken him, broken that control on many occasions, but tonight wasn't his night. It was hers. He felt the knot at her clit, it was slick. He dropped her head and if fell softly onto his bed.

"You're fighting me." He said calmly. He grabbed the lube and the plug. He poured the cool liquid over her reddened backside; she keened and squirmed on his lap. She enjoyed it, but was still embarrassed that she enjoyed it. He rubbed the lube over the tight bundle of nerves, she clenched and unclenched in anticipation, whimpering into his bed. "Ask me for it." He held the glass plug, letting her feel it cool and slick against her.

Truth and obedience, she bit her lip, he knew exactly how to humiliate her, even if he had done it a dozen times, even if he could make her cry out in ecstasy she always hesitated. She knew what he would do next, and she craved it, but this was always the obstacle to get there. She had to ask for it.

"Please Sensei, put the plug in my ass." She gasped when he lifted the rope that had been wedged between her cheeks and pushed filing her with smooth glass. The rope was put back in place, effectively holding the plug in place, she squirmed in his lap.

"That's my girl. Innocent, professional Sakura, bound and plugged. This is who you really are isn't it? Perverted, depraved, a little slut who enjoys being dominated and fucked by her old Sensei?" His voice was hoarse; he told her what she needed to hear, he told her the things that would break her down, so that she could cry, so that she could reach that place. She had done the same to him, trash, worthless, murderer, words that when used by her lost their power because it wasn't the voices in his head speaking them anymore.

"Yes." She whimpered.

"Yes what?" He fisted her hair again, pulling her face out of his bed.

"Yes Sensei"

"What does a slut like you need?" He growled in her ear.

"To be punished."

He picked up the bamboo switch and it whistled through the air before snapping against her already reddened skin. The plug intensified the feeling, hitting her G-spot against the thin wall, enough for her to feel the jolt of pleasure, but it was the sting that made her scream. She lifted her ass high, she needed this, it hurt, Kakashi could always make it hurt, but her trust in him grounded her, she knew he would never give her more then she could handle .

"What are they saying, the noises in that head of yours?" He caned her again, finding the same hard pace he was using on her before.

"I'm a fraud." Snap

"A filthy perverted slut." Snap

"A pretender." Snap

She could feel tears behind her eyes.

"I'm still so fucking useless!" Snap

"I'm a stupid girl. Stupid, stupid, useless girl, I'll never be what they want me to be, I'll never be as good as Naruto and Sasuke, I'm not Tsunade, but everyone acts like I am, I fail, and fail and when I make a mistake there's blood on my hands, I'm useless and stupid and I have no right to be here, to call myself shinobi. I'm a fraud…And I should have died a long time ago." Her voice broke, tears spilled out of her eyes. She took in a breath, then let go, she stopped fighting, and cried, finally. Kakashi stopped, his harsh grip on her softened immediately, the pain and the tears had found her, he turned her over and cradled her, rocking her while she cried great heaving sobs, not caring for the mucous and red blotches forming on her face. He shushed and rocked her letting her purge herself while he pulled the bits of rope that would release the knots, until the cocoon fell away from her. He eased the plug out and she gripped his neck, buried herself in his chest. He rubbed her arms and the red indents the ropes had left.

"You're amazing Sakura, you did so good. You're not useless, never, never useless, not to me." He spoke to her, knowing she couldn't hear him through her tears, but he knew how much his voice soothed her, so he spoke softly so she could feel the rumble of his chest. "My sweet Sakura, you put so much pressure on yourself, I'm so glad you're alive." He cooed to her, stroking her hair waiting for the tears to pass. He reached for the lotion and squeezed some into his hand and rubbed it into the angry welts on her ass. She hissed when the lotion hit the sensitive skin. "It's ok, I've got you, relax." She did, and her body shuddered.

He lowered his head to hers, nuzzled her until she looked up at him, and he kissed her, her lips trembled under his but responded. He cherished her, she needed tenderness right now. Whatever it was that she went through she needed to be handled with care. He found his discarded shirt and wiped the tears and other fluids from her face, her bright green eyes were puffy, her normally pristine ivory skin was blotchy, she was not pretty when she cried, but Kakashi thought she was perfect in that moment. She was herself, raw uncensored and honest, and he knew he was falling in love. He knew that what they were doing had linked them. Instead of saying anything he lifted her and laid her on her back. This time he did let his hands touch, cup the soft curve of her breasts, run fingers over her nipples making her catch her breath. He licked and nipped at them, and she moaned under him even if her breath was still ragged and uneven from her crying. Her hands thread into his hair nails scratched at his scalp and he added teeth to his ministrations, she moaned louder.

His head descended between her legs and he gently lapped at her red and over sensitized clit. The knot having done its job, every sweep of his tongue had her hips bucking; he wanted her to scream again, but not in pain this time. His erection twitched and one hand dipped into his pants pulling the straining member out, he gripped himself and pumped in time with his tongue, he moaned into her core and she threw her head back gripping his hair tighter. He slipped two fingers into her warm folds and built her up, sending her careening to ecstasy. He felt her tighten around his fingers and he sucked on her clit until she screamed his name. Not sensei, just Kakashi.

Sakura watched through hooded lids and the haze of her orgasm as he lifted himself over her, kissing her so she could taste herself on his lips and he slid into her, she moaned into his mouth, and he hooked a leg over his shoulder, so he could reach deep inside of her. He kept her like that half folded, his eyes open and he pressed his forehead to hers, watching her eyes roll. She griped his face, forcing her eyes open, watching him back and wanting him closer. She wanted to tell him she loved him, thank you, stay with me, and her mouth opened to speak but nothing came out except primal moans. Kakashi's pace became erratic as he approached his own climax, he kissed her, inhaling her scent tasting her, he was so close that he pulls back and his face twists into one of overwhelming ardor.

"God Sakura, I can't hold on." She pulls him into a kiss and he moans into her mouth and he releases pumping as long as he can, and she tightened around him again biting his lower lip as they both see stars.

Kakashi rolls over pulling Sakura with him so she's resting on her side in the crook of his arm, holding her protectively. He knows that she'll tell him what happened, why she needed him tonight, but he knows better than to pry. He threads fingers through her hair, pressing lips against her head.

"I lost Kiba's genin team today." She says in a quiet voice. "They were ambushed by a group of Jonin level rogue nins, he and Akamaru got them to the hospital alive. I had just come out of surgery, I didn't have enough chakra…I couldn't save even one of them. "

"Where were Tsunade and Shizune?" He looked down at her, feeling anger boil at the senior medics for being absent.

"I don't know. They got there after, it was too late. Kiba hates me. I hate me." The tears pricked at her eyes again.

"Shh, it's not your fault, and you know it." He held her tightly.

"They were kids, twelve years old."

"I know."

"It's not fair."

"I know."

He could feel her warm tears pool on his chest, she could cry on her own now, there was peace inside her even if she couldn't fully forgive herself. Kakashi brought a hand to her face, absently running a thumb over her cheek catching tears, wiping them away.

"Thank you, for this Kakashi."

He gave her a lopsided grin, tucking her head under his chin. "You would do the same for me."

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Depending on if I get lynched for this, I may, after Kakasaku week is over, write a companion piece for this where Kakashi goes to Sakura to be taken care of. Readers, let me know if you would be interested in reading something like that. :)


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